Call Summary: Career Struggles and Parental Relationships

Overview

A deeply vulnerable conversation between Gary and Marina about struggling with parental relationships, career uncertainty, and finding God's will during difficult transitions. Gary had just left his parents' home after a month-long stay that became spiritually suppressing, while Marina continues wrestling with financial pressure and supporting her parents in war-torn Ukraine. Both are navigating the tension between practical survival needs and spiritual calling.

Key Topics Discussed

Gary's Parental Struggles

• Month-Long Stay Difficulty: "Being around my parents is terrible. I love them. I love them a lot... But they create a very bad atmosphere for my authentic growth."
• Parents' Message: They basically told him "it's time to give up" regarding his entrepreneurial and faith pursuits
• Pattern Recognition: "They'll say like oh, stay longer and it'll be when they're in one emotional state and then like quickly it'll be like very negative or just uncomfortable really"
• Spiritual Suppression: "I feel my spirit is very suppressed when I'm around them"
• Communication Breakdown: "There's like nothing I can talk to them about what is actually on my mind... it sucks cause I want to be able to talk to them about stuff but there's nothing to talk about"
• Future Visits: Realized "there's no need for me to be there for more than a few days"

Marina's Family Context

• Parents' Survival Mentality: "They're coming from survival... They grew up in a very poor country they went through some you know like they've always been like poor, hungry"
• Post-USSR Trauma: "When I was born it was close to USSR so it was completely freaking nuts like you literally you know, scraping food to just live for tomorrow"
• Financial Guilt: "I feel oh my god, if I could just make money and help them maybe instead of self-fighting"
• Parental Wounds and God Relationship: "Most people in Ukraine didn't have a good father, mostly abusive father beat them, drink alcohol... so it's like a very horrible relationship"
• Understanding Their Context: "I totally understand and I put myself in their shoes and I think oh my god I might be even worse, you know, if I was born in this situation"

Career Uncertainty and Job Search

Marina's Situation:

• Burning through savings since 2022: "That's been like for actually many years already since 2022"
• Looking at various options: "Executive assistant operational director blah blah"
• Rejected morally compromising roles: "I had some kind of offers but like it was against my belief like for transhumanist like stuff... one decentralized science thing and then it was events but it was like not orgy but like they still were like too erotic"
• Creative approach needed: "It has to be kind of like a unique way to approach this positions or these companies"

Gary's Dilemma:

• Applied to jobs "in part just to please my parents"
• Applied to developer relations roles
• Struggling with fit: "I feel too good for certain jobs that are not that high pay and then I feel not super qualified for certain specialized roles that are higher pay"
• Perplexity interview concern: "My friend said yeah a lot of people work nights and weekends"
• Wrestling with dedication: "Do I just need to suck it up and pretend that I care about a product for a little bit... let my some of my best years get away from me by dedicating my life to someone else's company"

"Human as a Service" Art Project

Marina's planned intervention at Metropolitan Museum:

• Concept: "Put two chairs and sit there with human as a service thing"
• Purpose: "We forgetting what does mean to be a human, we forgetting how to listen to each other, forgetting how to look at each other eyes"
• Connection to God: "That's basically detaching us from like God experience because if we can't even have relationship with each [other] like how can we have relationship with God"
• Career Application: Using this to approach membership clubs and event companies creatively

Catholic Reflections from Rome

• Meeting Faithful Catholics: Including mother whose son killed himself after Character.AI interaction
• Mary's Sacrifice Understanding: Woman said: "I have more understanding of how much of a sacrifice it was to have Mary's son get crucified"
• Architecture as Argument: "You devote a significant portion of your resources towards godly architecture and that makes a pretty powerful statement"
• Pope's Cultural Role: "People even in the secular world care what the pope says for some reason... it's hard for me to imagine that entity working without a pope"

Orthodox-Catholic Theological Discussion

Marina explained the historical split:

• Key Difference: "When the pope has the power to forgive sins that's when it kind of went all downhill... that's when the collapse happened between orthodox and catholic church"
• Orthodox Position: "It's not that the priest forgives sins, the priest doesn't there's just perhaps a mediator between god and you but he's not forgiving sins at all like just god can do this"
• Pope as Jesus Figure: The problematic claim of pope as "representation jesus in physical form like now"

Work Philosophy and Divine Purpose

Marina's Perspective on Any Job:

• "Any job you do unless it's like very harmful job... if you can feel by this servant god"
• Referenced Genesis: "When god saw adam leave from the garden he told to adam that you will work like you know in sweat"
• Historical context: "Men especially until like technological revolution because mostly you guys been working with very hard jobs like coal mining"

Both Wrestling with Balance:

• Marina: "It's better to have like kind of nine to five servant job and then after that job like to finding out like other like things you want to do projects"
• Gary questioning self: "Am I just copping out am I just being lazy when I look at particular job opportunities"

Worldview Clash

Gary articulated the fundamental tension:

• "Someone that has a strong perspective about not toiling god doesn't want us to toil god wants us to rest... is gonna clash with someone that's like well it's a dog eat dog world gary"
• "There's a million people that want the job and are willing to work 12 hours a day for 6 days a week... that's literally what people do in japan and stuff"
• "Why did we get put in this reality where it's honestly confusing what the bible says like it's there's so many interpretations"

Spiritual Insights

Marina on Seeing Christ in Others:

• "Once a saint showed like that if in order for a person to believe that there is God that they have to see like Christ eyes like in another person's eyes"
• "They need to see this like love in eyes, you know this care"
• "In our world it's such a rare case to see this love in eyes"

Marina on Desert Experience:

• "Nothing teach you more about [God] than desert... when in desert definitely you will learn about God"
• "When you don't have even that like basic needs... then like you really like like your food, your shelter your safety everything becomes God"
• "I wasn't on the street you know like but still it wasn't it's not like normal people live"

Content vs. Presence:

• Marina: "I'm so tired of consuming content and like I want just like either be in silence or you know pray a bit like jesus prayer"
• "I want just like a presence a presence of being... even sit down and look at the people in like washington park"
• Both watched Saint Paul series in Greek (recommended by mutual friend Christian)

Key Quotes

On Family:

• Gary: "I love them deeply. But they create a very bad atmosphere for my authentic growth."
• Marina: "How much like our relationship with parents affect our kind of relationship with God"

On Career:

• Marina: "We're definitely not 9-5 job position person"
• Gary: "Is that me being like lazy and entitled and delusional... do I just need to suck it up"

On Faith and Work:

• Marina: "It's really living with God trusting God that he will provide for tomorrow"
• Marina: "Any job you do... if you can feel by this servant god"

On Human Connection:

• Marina: "We forgetting what does mean to be a human, we forgetting how to listen to each other, forgetting how to look at each other eyes"

On Spiritual Growth:

• Marina: "Nothing teach you more about [God] than desert"
• Marina: "Once a saint showed... to believe that there is God that they have to see like Christ eyes like in another person's eyes"

Action Items / Takeaways

• Gary heading to Protestant church service outside Houston after leaving parents
• Marina planning Metropolitan Museum "Human as a Service" art project
• Both continuing job search with creative approaches
• Marina to send Saint Paul series link to Gary
• Gary resolved to limit parental visits to just a few days
• Both seeking more contemplative practice over content consumption

Current Situations

Gary:

• Just left month-long stay with parents in Vegas
• Traveling to Austin via Houston for church service
• Staying with friend temporarily
• Applied to developer relations jobs but uncertain about direction
• Wrestling with feeling both overqualified and underqualified for different roles

Marina:

• In New York, burning through savings since 2022
• Supporting parents in Ukraine emotionally and seeking financial stability to help them
• Exploring executive assistant, operations, and event roles
• Maintaining moral standards in job search (rejected transhumanist and erotic event offers)
• Planning creative art intervention to approach companies

Spiritual Themes

Both are in a "desert" experience - Marina literally described it as such, having lost everything in crypto crash and living on edge of poverty while trusting God daily for provision. Gary experiencing spiritual suppression from parents who want him to abandon his faith-driven path. Both wrestling with how to balance practical survival needs with spiritual calling, questioning whether taking conventional jobs is wisdom or betrayal of their divine purpose. The conversation revealed deep solidarity in their shared struggle to live authentically while facing family pressure and financial uncertainty.