Having Parents That Are Not Christian

November 14, 2025

I have been feeling pretty trapped, candidly. The more time I spend with my parents, the more trapped I feel. They're deep in fear. They basically told me it's time to give up. They said it's time to get "realistic," that I've given doing my own thing a shot.

My parents see me, more or less, as a failure. I'm 32, not dating anyone, not married, no traditional job. They use everything they perceive as wrong in my life - even my high cholesterol from a blood test - as evidence that I've failed. When everything else in my blood work was good, they still found that one thing to prove their point.

There's no non-spiritual explanation for the choices I've made. Why wouldn't I keep working with Joe Liemandt? Why wouldn't I just suck it up and take a regular job? From their worldview, it looks ridiculous and stupid. They have no framework for understanding why I do what I do.

While I haven't briefed them on these two people, but I've spent a lot of time with Apostle Delmar and Brenda Gentry since leaving Alpha. And why I haven't brought them up to my parents is they wouldn't get it!

My parents want me to get a full-time job. That's their solution. And I keep being unhappy with every option that comes up because none of them fit who I want to be. I'm not fully ruling it out, but it's been very hard.

Here's what I'm holding onto: this could be among the low times. And if these are my low times, I'm extremely privileged. I'm still going to love God and be grateful for God even if things get lower. My best friend Tim reminds me to have perspective when things are low, to document the process. You're going to appreciate it when you look back, he says. When you're not in the low times anymore, you're going to wish you documented that history in the making.

So here I am, documenting. Feeling trapped between two worlds - my parents' world of fear and "realism," and this other world where God does incredible things. Where faith actually means something. Where supernatural healing is real.

In two days I'll be back in Texas. Back in Liberty. I'll have some breathing room, some spiritual energy in my system. I'm going to ask Apostle for another boost to my eyesight.

Even though they still love me, my parents see failure where I see faith being tested. They see foolishness where I see obedience to something bigger than their fear.

This is the journal entry for November 14th. The low times, maybe. But still standing.