Ending My Psychedelic Chapter

I choose to rely on God alone.

I'm done with psychedelics. Not because they hurt me, but because I don't need them anymore.

I started using mushrooms years ago in New York—2018, 2019, 2020. Very sporadically. Sometimes quarterly, sometimes every six months. Just randomly, almost. A friend would have some mushroom chocolate and we'd walk around reflecting on life.

But this past year has been different. I used them a lot more. I met a guy named Zach who grows them with love, and I justified the increased use to process trauma—the pain from Janine, my frustrations with institutional capture. They helped me unlearn toxic patterns and connected me to spiritual truths I was too programmed to access naturally.

But here's what I know about myself: I'm addicted to everything that makes me feel better. Alcohol. Coffee. Sugar. And yes, psychedelics.

There's always a reason to use. There's always trauma to process. There's always a breakthrough waiting on the other side of a trip. My mind will manufacture justifications forever.

The difference between me and people who moderate? I don't do moderation well. I need simple rules that I can follow without negotiating with myself.

No alcohol for six years—brilliant decision. No desserts, no sodas, no juices—also brilliant. And now no psychedelics. Same principle.

I'm grateful mushrooms got me here. They were part of the journey back to truth. They helped me see clearly through layers of cultural programming and institutional lies. They taught me that reality is far stranger and more spiritual than most people imagine.

But I feel baptized by this past year of experience. The Holy Spirit has done the real work of transformation. I'm not the same person I was twelve months ago. I have clarity about what matters. I know where I stand.

I don't need substances to process reality anymore. I need to rely on God.

Do I believe God can heal and guide me without chemical assistance? Yes or no?

Yes.

Then I honor Him by not seeking substitute sources of strength.

This isn't about judging anyone else's relationship with psychedelics. Some people can use them responsibly for genuine spiritual purposes. I'm not one of those people.

I'm the kind of person who benefits from clear boundaries. Who works better with bright lines than gray areas. Who needs to eliminate temptation rather than manage it.

Thank you, mushrooms, for helping me unlearn old patterns. Thank you for connecting me to truth. Thank you for being part of my journey back to God.

This era is complete.

The next era begins with relying on the Holy Spirit alone—no supplements, no shortcuts, no chemical assistance. Just faith in the God who created my mind and can heal it without external intervention.

I'm ready to be stronger. I'm ready to depend entirely on divine guidance.

The training wheels are off.